Friday, November 20, 2009

And the Hop-Flower Girls Will Arrive Promptly at 4:37 p.m.

Sunday is Brew Day. It feels more like Wedding Day. I'm getting ready to form an unholy union with that 15.5 gallon kettle and his rowdy groomsmen.

I've brewed before, with family and friends. You can count the number of times on two hands. This will be the first time on my own system. Having helped with both extract and all-grain batches, I decided to jump straight to all-grain. Like a schoolgirl hoping she finds the right man someday, I've been reading brewing books for a couple of years now. I have an academic understanding of what is supposed to happen on our wedding night. My friends have shared their private tips. But I'm nervous. What if he doesn't think I'm any good?

Yesterday I found myself, with five-month-old Junior in tow, standing in the plumbing aisle at the local hardware store. For 30 minutes. Looking at hose barbs and tubing, wondering if this European Metric thing would squeeze in to that 1/2" American thing. Hunting for litmus paper to test pH, taking it as seriously as if they were color swatches for new wallpaper.

"Stop it," Junior said. Or maybe it was my last shred of sanity speaking. "Leave this place now. The beer will be fine."

Ugh. I've become Bridezilla.


  1. so what are you going to brew?

    as far as the sizing of plumbing stuff goes, I've actually found that much of the stuff here is made in inches for some strange reason. You'll often see metal plumbing parts with 1/2" molded on the side of it and then the label says what it is in mm.

  2. Huh. Could've used your help at Brico yesterday.

    Making what you might call an extra pale ale... blonde, sessionable and hoppy.

  3. Hey, it's normal to be nervous. I'm a professional actor, have been one for years, and I still get nervous every time just before I go on. Being nervous is good, it means you care.

    Love the blog. Thanks.

  4. Barry, you inspired me to return to the plumbing aisle. Found what I needed today.

  5. The only advice I can offer is that old homebrew proverb:

    "Relax, don't worry. Have a homebrew."

  6. I´m also a homebrewer and I wish you luck!
    How is the homebrew scene in Belgium? There are so many good breweries and beers in Belgium, that I dont know if the guys out there want to make their own beer!
    I´m from Brazil and only recently the beer culture is "serious" stuff here.
    Well...good luck and don´t forget to tell us about the results.
    If you can read portuguese, then read my blog!